Let’s face it: the sound of a breast pump can feel like an endless string of exasperated sighs. Listen closely: “Ugh, really?” It’s the soundtrack of those pumping sessions—there you are, completely at its mercy, while it relentlessly takes from you. But your breast pump has a lot more to say than just that. Here are 11 other messages it’s whispering during those solitary moments:
- Did you have other plans? Tough luck on that one.
- I’m here to drain both your milk and your willpower.
- Cute bra! Your partner has seen you in that?
- Don’t forget to sterilize me later. Enjoy the boiling water, champ.
- Oh, you have a flight? Good luck with that TSA nonsense.
- You know those tiny rubber pieces you need if you’re only pumping one side? Yeah, I’ve misplaced them. Good luck, buddy.
- Sure, take me to work. I’ll blend in just as well as a table saw at a wedding. Vroom, vroom! Sorry, Mark from accounting, I can’t hear you over this noise.
- Look at me being all stylish in black… No one will suspect I’m just a breast pump pretending to be a chic handbag.
- Did you forget your breast shields? Hope 5 o’clock rolls around quickly!
- Oops, I noticed you tried to move away from the outlet. Sorry! Now you’re literally plastered to the wall. Doesn’t that feel cozy?
- Whoa, why the sudden increase in speed? Was I too slow for you, Miss Hurry-Hurry? Like you don’t have a four-month-old waiting for you.
Ugh, really?!
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Summary
Your breast pump has a lot to say during those quiet moments, from reminding you of your responsibilities to poking fun at your circumstances. It may feel like a frustrating experience, but these messages can provide a humorous perspective on the challenges of motherhood.