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Nearly Anything Their Dad Says After Bedtime
“I’m gonna tackle that!”
From our son’s room: “You’re going to timeout if you tackle, Daddy!” -
Conversations About Events We Won’t Attend
What?! We’re not driving two hours for an awkward potluck birthday bash where we know no one? No thanks. -
College Stories
“Mom, what’s a keg stand?”
“It’s like a cake stand, you know?”
“And a…what did you say? Bong?”
“Like a drum! A tiny drum thingy… Who wants ice cream?” -
Disagreements on Parenting
My partner and I usually see eye to eye on parenting. However, when we disagree on something significant, it’s uncomfortable. Sorry kiddos, we’ll do better. -
Gossip
You must promise never to repeat what I just said to your dad, OK? I’ll even give you a cookie if you don’t! -
My Farting
Nothing is more amusing or shocking than your mother passing gas—especially for a 9-year-old boy. -
Discussing Their Adorable or Absurd Moments
I feel guilty when they catch me chatting about their antics, but honestly, GO TO BED so we can discuss you! -
Santa and Mermaids
I try to strike a balance between maintaining magic and ensuring they won’t be teased by others for believing. My pragmatic 4-year-old once asked if mermaids are real. I told her “Nope!” and then remembered my son was listening. He exclaimed, “But we saw them at the aquarium!” -
My First Words Upon My Partner’s Arrival Home
It probably sounds something like, “Chaos. Need coffee. Mess everywhere. You’re not leaving again.” -
Topics Like Cremation, Embalming, or Donald Trump
These are tough to explain and can genuinely frighten them about the future.
These are just a few of the awkward moments my kids have stumbled upon. Hopefully, they won’t remember too much, especially that one time my daughter heard us “wrestling” and got truly concerned about the strange noises from our room. Just forget that one, dear. Trust me.
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In summary, parenting comes with its share of awkward moments and conversations that can catch kids off guard. Balancing the truth while keeping things magical is a constant challenge, but it’s all part of the journey.