Approximately a year after tying the knot with my partner, we decided to stop using birth control and embrace whatever came next. At ages 24 and 25, we felt prepared to embark on the journey of parenthood, ready to transition into this new phase of our lives. While I don’t regret our children at all, I often wish I could visit my younger self and offer some sage advice. If given the chance, here are ten things I would have prioritized before having kids:
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Eliminate My Student Debt.
Or at the very least, significantly reduce it. I graduated with a daunting amount of student loans, and nearly two decades later, I’m still making payments on that sizeable debt. In hindsight, I wish we had delayed starting our family for a couple of years, relying solely on my spouse’s income so I could focus on paying off my loans. -
Travel More.
I know it sounds cliché, but it’s genuinely true. After college, I spent almost a year in Japan, which I cherish. However, I wish I had traveled more, both solo and with my partner, before kids entered the picture. I’ve discovered many budget-friendly travel hacks since then and would’ve loved to apply them during my pre-parenting days. -
Pursue an Advanced Degree.
Over the years, I’ve frequently pondered whether I should have obtained a Master’s or even a Ph.D. Some parents manage to do this after having children (kudos to them), but I couldn’t envision that happening during the early years of motherhood. Now that my kids are older, I lack the motivation and energy to return to school. -
Enjoy Museums at My Own Pace.
While we’ve spent hours taking our kids to museums, these visits often feel rushed, lacking the depth of exploration I desire. I often find myself wishing I could slow down, read every exhibit plaque, and fully absorb the information without a child tugging at me or racing off to the next display. -
Attend More Live Events.
I never fully appreciated the luxury of live performances until becoming a parent. I used to attend symphonies, concerts, theater productions, and poetry readings—activities that are often disrupted or entirely out of reach with small children. -
Value a Full Night’s Sleep.
This one hardly needs elaboration, as the connection between parenting and sleep deprivation is well-documented. Even now, after a full night of sleep, I seldom feel as rested as I did before kids. It’s clear that my relationship with sleep has changed forever. -
Enhance My Time Management Skills.
I didn’t realize how crucial effective time management would be until balancing two jobs, a spouse, three children, and community responsibilities. Ironically, I now find myself too busy to delve into time management strategies. -
Achieve Peak Physical Fitness.
As someone who has always had an on-and-off relationship with exercise, I wish I had seized the opportunity to get in fantastic shape during my youth. Entering motherhood with a solid fitness routine would have been far easier than trying to establish one at 40. -
Maintain a Consistent Journal.
I’ve started a few journals that I later abandoned, but I wish I had kept a more continuous record of my thoughts and experiences before becoming a parent. It would be fascinating to reflect on how I’ve changed and remained the same over the years. -
Savor My Alone Time.
After marrying, my partner and I spent nearly all our time together for the year leading up to my pregnancy. Since then, I’ve had a child by my side in one way or another, with little time to simply exist on my own. As an introvert, I treasure solitude, and I wish I had fully appreciated those moments when they were more accessible.
I often wonder if I would genuinely choose to alter my past if given the chance. Hindsight truly is 20/20, and considering our financial situation back then, many of these aspirations may not have been feasible. However, it’s intriguing to think about what I might have done differently with the knowledge I have today. Ultimately, it’s more important to focus on what I can do now and consider what I might wish I had done once my children have grown and left home.
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