As a mother of three energetic boys, I’ve learned that parenting is full of unexpected moments. While my little ones are generally well-mannered, their creativity often leads to some amusing scenarios. When I envisioned motherhood, I certainly didn’t anticipate the unique challenges that come with raising boys—having grown up without any brothers. I assumed I’d be dispensing pearls of wisdom, but instead, I’ve found myself saying some rather outrageous things. Here’s a collection of my top ten unexpected phrases that have left me shaking my head and thinking, “Did I really just have to say that?”
- It is NEVER acceptable to urinate in the bed of your toy truck. I vividly recall my then 3-year-old attempting this with his WOW front-loader garbage truck. I guess I should give him credit for his aim, considering how small that bucket is.
- Take your brother’s underwear off your head RIGHT NOW. You’d think the idea of wearing someone else’s “used” underwear would be a deterrent, right? Not for that same adventurous 3-year-old. Goofiness clearly wins out over hygiene.
- Do not put your fingers near your brother’s eyeball. I’m not sure which child this was, but I have a strong suspicion it was the same one.
- Please don’t eat your earwax. This was likely uttered to my other son, who seems to have a knack for ignoring tissues. I often wonder when the whole eating-boogers phase will end. No matter how many times I explain how gross and unhealthy it is, it continues. I think it’s purely out of convenience, which is less than comforting.
- Do not throw banana peels on the floor to try and slip on them. My husband witnessed this little stunt, which I suspect was a failed attempt to mimic a Mythbusters episode. On a side note, thanks to that show, my 7-year-old is utterly convinced that wearing jeans could lead to spontaneous combustion. He’s refused to wear them since.
- Do not leave your toothbrush on the floor next to the toilet. Trust me, that “firehose” is a risky thing. I’ve learned that most of what I never imagined saying revolves around bodily functions.
- Do not place boogers in your ears. Honestly, did I really just have to say that?
- A pretend helmet will not actually protect your head. You’ve got to love a 4-year-old’s imagination, even if it gives me panic attacks. This child once wore a fireman costume to the beach in sweltering heat and insisted on keeping it on the entire time.
- Do not leave cups of urine in the bathtub. Apparently, my boys thought it was a great idea to conduct a “science experiment” during bath time. They figured it would be fascinating to see what happens if they left it there for a few days. I had my suspicions why the smell wouldn’t go away, and upon finding the cups, a serious conversation ensued.
- Don’t stuff blackberries in your pockets. My eldest son loves foraging for blackberries, but he recently discovered pockets in his pants and thought it would be fun to fill them. One day, he came home from Kindergarten with a pocket full of cherry tomatoes, snap peas, and peanuts from his lunch leftovers, beaming with pride.
I’m sure this list will grow as my boys continue to explore their mischievous sides. Despite the chaos, these moments create lasting memories for me as a mom. You can find more about navigating parenting challenges in this helpful article.
Summary
As a mother of three boys, I’ve encountered a series of unexpected phrases that have become part of my everyday vocabulary. From bizarre bathroom habits to imaginative play, these moments not only highlight the unique challenges of raising boys but also create unforgettable memories. If you’re interested in more insights into family building and parenting, check out this excellent resource.