As a parent, the term “threenager” was something I heard long before my child hit the age of three. Initially, I thought it was a fun way to capture the essence of a toddler who feels more grown-up and independent. However, I soon realized that this label also encapsulates some of the challenging traits associated with teenagers: moodiness, stubbornness, and an attitude that can be downright unbearable. Honestly, I used to think that the so-called “terrible twos” were the worst — turns out, three was a whole new level of chaos. I find myself longing for the simplicity of two and would gladly relive that phase if it meant skipping the trials of three.
Since my son celebrated his third birthday, my once sweet, albeit mischievous boy has transformed into what many would lovingly call a little tyrant. Every statement is met with a resounding “no!” and simple questions become demands. Meltdowns can erupt from the tiniest trigger, leaving me caught between repeating his name endlessly and wishing for a quick escape from the madness.
Of course, I recognize that this stage is just a phase in his development, but there are moments when his unsolicited advice on how to clean his apple makes me want to tell him to pack his bags. As a work-at-home single mom, I don’t get much of a break, but I’ve come to understand that my experiences are far from unique. Many parents face similar challenges, and I reached out to fellow moms — some still navigating this stage, others who have made it through — to gather effective coping strategies.
1. Change the Scenery
Sometimes, all it takes is a short escape from the chaos. I often take a quick walk to the store or around the neighborhood. As my friend Megan aptly put it, “Running. So. Much. Running.”
2. Snack Time
Not for the kids, but for us! Indulging in treats can be a simple yet effective way to cope. For me, it’s all about sweets like cookies and chocolates. I may or may not have stashed some goodies in my cheeks like a chipmunk just to sneak a bite.
3. A Little Liquid Courage
A glass of wine can be the perfect remedy after a long day of parenting. Whether it’s beer or your drink of choice, sometimes you just need to unwind. “Drink. A lot.” — said by my friend Rachel.
4. Relaxation Rituals
After making yet another wrong lunch, finding ways to calm your nerves becomes essential. Whether it’s a soothing bubble bath, some meditation, or light music — or as my friend Tia suggests, “Pot.”
5. Guilty Pleasures
Sometimes, a little escapism is all you need. I find solace in watching my favorite shows, while others might prefer something different. “My go-to is home renovation shows.” — shares Laura.
6. Make Some Noise
If chaos is already brewing, adding your own noise can help. “Singing, especially ‘Yellow Submarine’” — says my friend Liz.
7. Embrace the Goofiness
Laughter is a great way to diffuse tension. Sara explained, “If he’s throwing a fit about his shoes, I’ll pretend to put them on his hands or smell them and faint. It usually gets him chuckling, and then he pouts less.”
8. Dance It Out
When in doubt, shake it off! “Whenever we’re feeling down, I blast the music and we have a dance party.” — mentions my friend Jenna.
9. Listen Actively
Sometimes, just giving your child a chance to express their feelings can prevent a meltdown. “Helping them articulate their emotions, no matter how irrational, often calms them down.” — advises Wendy.
10. Take a Breather
Sometimes, both of you just need some space. “My pediatrician suggested locks on the outside of their bedroom doors. I did it, and then I enjoyed my wine.” — says Katie. “I survived the tough days with tears and the occasional lock-in bathroom session.” — shares Christie.
A friend, Emily, offered a poignant reminder: “This phase won’t last forever. If things get too intense, give yourself a mommy time-out.” While I know my child won’t always be a demanding little know-it-all, it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when I’m telling him for the umpteenth time to stop climbing on the furniture. Thankfully, I have coping strategies to fall back on, making it easier for both of us to navigate these tumultuous times.
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Summary:
Parenting a threenager can be incredibly challenging, but it’s essential to find ways to cope. From changing your environment to indulging in guilty pleasures, there are numerous strategies to help manage the chaos. Remember, this stage is temporary, and implementing coping mechanisms will benefit both you and your child.