With summer in full swing, finding ways to keep the kids entertained while also wearing them out can be quite the challenge. If you can manage to soak up some sun in the process, that’s just a bonus—enter water parks. Amidst the splashes and slippery floors, water parks provide an excellent escape for families, allowing parents to catch a quick read… for about three minutes before the kids need something.
As a child, I adored water parks—the thrill of the slides and the allure of the snack bar were enough to fill any kid with joy. However, as an adult, I’ve developed a different perspective. Now, instead of focusing on the fun, I find myself contemplating potential hazards and questionable hygiene. It’s like I’m swimming in a sea of worries instead of water.
Recently, while reminiscing about my water park escapades, I realized that visiting these parks as a kid bears a striking resemblance to spending time at bars in my twenties. At first glance, they seem worlds apart, but hear me out. I’ve mastered both environments at the appropriate times in my life and still find myself in each occasionally, where the memories remind me that enjoyment is often tied to youth.
Here are ten reasons why water parks are just like bars:
- Barefoot in the Restroom? No Thanks. The floors are often sticky and questionable, littered with remnants of past visitors. You wouldn’t want to step barefoot in either place!
- Inappropriate Attire is Common. Whether it’s swimsuits that leave little to the imagination or outfits that stretch the limits of decency, you can always count on seeing something eye-catching.
- The Male Gaze is Ever-Present. Just like at bars, you’ll find men checking out the scene, hoping for a glimpse of something that’s not meant to be seen.
- Getting Toasted is Inevitably Part of the Experience. At a water park, it’s the sun that leaves you red and tired, while at a bar, it’s the drinks. In both cases, you might head home feeling less than stellar.
- Prepare for Pricey Treats. Whether it’s a hot dog or a cocktail, expect to pay a premium for any food or drink. You’ll likely pay three times what you would at a regular spot—and you’ll do it without hesitation.
- Wristbands Are a Must. Upon entry, you get a wristband—a small token of your investment and proof that you’ve made it through the gates of fun.
- The Soundtrack is a Nightmare. From live bands struggling through covers to bubblegum pop blasting through speakers, you can be sure that the music will be less than enjoyable.
- Tears are Inevitable. Whether it’s due to a child’s disappointment over a water gun or a friend’s quarrel over shots, emotions run high and someone usually ends up in tears.
- Your Hair Will Suffer. Between the sun, sweat, and unexpected spills, you’re bound to leave looking less than fabulous.
- Bring a Buddy. Whether at a water park or a bar, having a friend by your side makes the experience more enjoyable and provides moral support when things get chaotic.
Feeling convinced? Pack your bags for a fun day at the park or a night out. Or, if you prefer a quieter option, you could always stay in and binge-watch your favorite shows. At least then, you won’t have to worry about wardrobe malfunctions!
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Summary:
Water parks and bars may seem unrelated, but they share surprising similarities, from questionable hygiene and overpriced snacks to the inevitable presence of tears and bad music. Both venues thrive on social interaction and a bit of chaos, making them more enjoyable with friends by your side.