Before becoming a parent, the concept of sleep training seemed utterly perplexing. The saying “sleeping like a baby” certainly has a history, so why would infants need any form of sleep training? The answer to that question is becoming clearer to me.
I suspect the phrase might have originated from a sleep-deprived couple centuries ago, and it has since misled countless new parents into thinking that babies sleep peacefully. After bringing my little one, Ruby, home from the hospital, I quickly discovered that newborns don’t exactly doze quietly. Instead, they grunt, squeal, wriggle, kick, cry, feed, and yes, even smile—often while they’re supposedly sleeping for 16-18 hours a day. Initially, I was convinced something was wrong with Ruby and sought reassurance from our pediatrician, who simply told me she was perfectly healthy. There were no miraculous solutions for my noisy sleeper; she was just doing what newborns do.
As I prepared to leave, feeling overwhelmed, a nurse entered the room. After giving me an understanding look, she casually mentioned, “All my daughters were noisy sleepers too.” In that moment, I realized she was a seasoned veteran in the world of parenting. Rather than offering advice or sympathy, she just patted my hand and urged me to stay strong.
It dawned on me then that I had been misled, and my sweet little baby was, in fact, an adorable sleep disruptor, holding my dreams hostage. Based on the weary expression of that nurse, it seemed the situation might not improve anytime soon.
Returning home, I scoured the hospital literature and my extensive collection of parenting guides, desperately searching for insights on newborn sleep. Surely, with all the preparation they require for childbirth, there must be some instruction manual for handling a newborn? Where was the reset button?!
Then it hit me: if they told us the truth, people might think twice about having kids. It was a conspiracy! So, what are the real truths about newborn sleep?
- Newborns Are Noisy Sleepers: More disruptive than your uncle after a family BBQ, they grunt, squeal, and even thrash around while swaddled tightly. You’ll find yourself racing to their crib multiple times an hour to check on them, only to wake them up and start the cycle all over again.
- They Sleep with Their Eyes Open: Sometimes, they appear to stare at you with wide eyes, resembling little stalkers. Occasionally, their eyelids may droop while their eyes roll back, creating a zombie-like look that never really gets less creepy; you just become accustomed to it.
- If Your Baby Sleeps Well, Don’t Share: If you’re one of the lucky few whose baby sleeps through the night from day one, please refrain from bragging about it. Honestly, it’s a form of war, and right now you’re on the opposing team. Enjoy your good fortune, but keep it to yourself.
- Avoid Asking About Swaddling: Yes, I’ve tried every swaddling technique and product available. I’ve considered even more extreme measures, but my clever little one soon figured out how to kick her way out of anything. It just became another facet of the “Keep Mommy Awake” game.
- Don’t Bring Up Sleep Aids: I possess two white noise machines and have tested every pacifier out there. In a moment of desperation, I even contemplated using a silicone mold of my breast to help soothe Ruby to sleep. Though I’ve tried various methods, my nights of uninterrupted sleep are distant memories.
- Colic Is a Frightening Diagnosis: It’s a term that translates to “Your baby cries a lot, won’t sleep, and the doctor has no further insights.” Unfortunately, age is usually the only remedy.
- White Noise Can Be Deceiving: Don’t be fooled into thinking any noise will be masked by white noise. Opening a soda can at 3 AM sounds like an explosion. If your newborn is in the same room, just stay still and don’t dare move; the mattress creak will wake them up.
- Take the Help Offered by Family: When your mother or sister offers to watch the baby overnight, don’t hesitate. Accept the offer and dive into bed for some much-needed rest. Forget your phone or laptop; everything can wait until you’ve caught up on sleep.
- Sleep When the Baby Sleeps—If You Can: Unless your baby only sleeps when you’re driving around in circles, or if you’d like to eat or shower while they nap, you might find it difficult to catch those z’s.
- Stick With What Works: If you discover a method that helps your baby sleep, use it as long as possible. Just the other day, I was chatting with my sister, who shared that none of her three kids ever slept more than three hours at a time. But as they grow older, you can at least threaten them with consequences if they don’t pretend to stay in bed.
In summary, navigating newborn sleep can feel like a chaotic journey filled with surprises. While it might be tempting to seek quick fixes, it’s essential to embrace these early stages, knowing that they will eventually pass.
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