10 Parenting Pitfalls I Promised I Would Avoid

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We often think we have parenting all figured out—until we find ourselves knee-deep in it. Before I became a parent, I had a clear vision of the habits I would never adopt while raising my children. Some commitments have held strong, like limiting screen time, avoiding physical punishment, employing positive reinforcement, and understanding developmental stages to better support my kids. However, there are several things I swore I would never do, and yet, here we are.

1. Co-Sleeping

Initially, our kids had no trouble sleeping in their own cribs. But as soon as they turned two, our bed somehow transformed into the ultimate sleep destination at 3 a.m. What do you do at that hour? You snuggle your child tightly, resigning yourself to the fact that getting back to sleep is the only option.

2. Cooking Separate Meals

I try to prepare meals that everyone can enjoy together, but occasionally I veer off our regular menu of burgers, pasta, and tacos. When I do, my kids protest louder than a protestor at a city council meeting. As much as I admire those parents who insist their children eat what’s served or go hungry, I simply can’t bear the thought of a whiny child.

3. Allowing Screen Time

There was once a version of me—a younger, less sleep-deprived version—who swore my kids would never watch TV. Fast forward to my second pregnancy, where that same TV became a lifesaver, providing much-needed distraction.

4. Negotiating With Kids

Growing up, what my parents said was absolute. But now, some days I find myself engaging in negotiations over one more episode of their favorite show or an extra bite of broccoli. Honestly, sometimes I just want the peace that comes from a quick compromise.

5. Maintaining Pre-Kids Lifestyles

Remember when you thought traveling with a baby would be easy? That illusion vanished once I experienced jet lag, sleepless nights, and an unexpected colicky baby on an eight-hour flight. The reality of parenting can be quite different from the idealized version we envision.

6. Being Flexible with Bedtimes

This might just be a euphemism for being lazy. A few extra minutes can quickly turn into an hour of extra playtime, which means bedtime becomes more of a guideline than a rule.

7. Serving Sugary Breakfasts

While we all want our kids to eat healthily, there are mornings when Pop Tarts seem like the only feasible option. After all, who has the time or energy to whip up a gourmet breakfast at the crack of dawn?

8. Attempting to Control Everything

Before having kids, I read all the parenting books and made elaborate plans. But once my baby was born, I quickly tossed those ideas aside. The reality is that kids have their own agenda, and it often clashes with ours.

9. Letting Kids Break the Rules

Letting children jump on the bed can feel like anarchy, but it’s also a joyful part of their childhood. While I sip my coffee, I remind myself that childhood is fleeting, so I choose to embrace these moments—ice packs at the ready.

10. Accepting a Chaotic Home

I once vowed not to live in a cluttered house, but that dream has faded. While I strive to keep things in order, I’ve come to terms with the idea that a lived-in home is part of family life. As long as the essentials are clean, I’ll take the mess for now.

Ultimately, habits change as we navigate the unpredictable journey of parenthood. While some may feel permanent—like the crayon marks on the wall—most are just phases. Before you know it, your child will no longer want to snuggle at 3 a.m., and you’ll be left reminiscing about those chaotic, beautiful years.

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