My partner, Jake, and I never envisioned ourselves with a large family. If either of us had expressed a desire for such a brood during our courtship, the other would have likely fled in terror. Yet, here we are, and it’s been a remarkable journey. We cherish our family’s size and can’t picture it any other way. In today’s world, large families are becoming rarer, so there’s often curiosity surrounding how it all functions. Here are ten insights I’ve gathered from raising a big family:
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Defining ‘Large’ is Personal.
For some, having more than two kids is considered a “large” family. As a mother of five, I tend to think of families with seven or more as truly large. It’s all about perspective. I’ve realized that many see five as substantial, similar to how we often define “old”—it’s always a few decades older than your own age. -
Spontaneity is a Myth.
With a big family, everything must be meticulously planned. I once impulsively decided to leave for a trip a day early, assuming all laundry was done. Little did I know it would take us FIVE hours to finally leave the house! -
Factor in Travel Time.
If a typical family takes four hours to drive somewhere, expect it to take six to eight hours with our crew. Between potty breaks, diaper changes, feeding the baby, and allowing the kids to stretch their legs at rest stops, every journey takes longer than planned. -
Private Time is Rare.
The number of kids directly correlates with how often you get interrupted. This includes those precious moments with your partner. If you can manage intimacy in the time it takes to switch loads of laundry, you’re doing great. A locked laundry room door can be a lifesaver in these situations. -
Laundry is a Constant Battle.
I can honestly say I’ve never lost a child in the laundry room, nor have I had anyone buried under a mountain of unmatched socks. However, the risk is always present, and the laundry never seems to end. -
Dreams Evolve.
Where I once dreamed of exotic vacations, I now fantasize about heavy-duty appliances—a double set of industrial washers and dryers, a walk-in freezer, and soundproof rooms for each child. A spacious kitchen with a massive table for family meals is also on my wish list. -
Grocery Bills Can Be Daunting.
Seriously. I’ve often thought that if I want to afford my three boys as they hit their teenage years, we might need to grow our own food—maybe even raise a cow. -
Gas Mileage? What’s That?
Finding a vehicle that accommodates our family without guzzling gas is a challenge. Affordable options are hard to come by, and it seems we’re destined for gas hogs. -
Early Bedtimes are Essential.
New friends are often shocked to learn that the younger kids have a 7:30 PM bedtime. It’s a survival tactic. The peace that comes after they’re tucked in is priceless. Admittedly, Jake often crashes on the couch shortly thereafter, but those few moments of quiet are a daily victory. -
Embrace the Noise and Chaos.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that living with so many people means embracing noise and disorder. My home may never achieve “home beautiful” standards, but it’s a place where children thrive—and I’m perfectly fine with that.
Will we expand our family further? Only time will tell. If you’re considering expanding your family as well, check out this resource on in vitro fertilisation for more information. And for those looking to boost fertility, I recommend exploring our post on fertility supplements. You can also read about a family’s journey in welcoming their new sister here.
In summary, while raising a large family comes with its own set of challenges, it’s an immensely rewarding experience filled with love, laughter, and occasional chaos.