Our firstborn was the epitome of a well-mannered child. From an early age, she was polite, reserved, and content to sit quietly with a stack of board books for hours on end. Tea parties and coloring sessions were her favorite activities, allowing me to manage dinner or catch up on work without interruption.
Then came our second child, Max, who is an entirely different story. He’s our true wildling, seemingly hailing from a realm where the concept of manners, shoes, and cleanliness are foreign. Despite all our parenting efforts, he appears resolute in embracing his untamed spirit. If you suspect you might have a feral child too, here are 10 signs to look out for:
- Walking is Overrated
Max has spent more time galloping on all fours than walking upright. He can mimic a horse with impressive speed, clearly preferring to crawl or leap around rather than walk like us. - Utensils Are Unnecessary
Forks and spoons? Please. Max would happily eat without them if given the choice. He often opts for a hands-on approach, channeling his inner wild animal by picking up food with his mouth. Picture that iconic scene from A Christmas Story — that’s him. - Mess Is a Source of Joy
You should see the excitement in Max’s eyes when he returns from outside, covered in dirt. He delights in playing barefoot in the yard, and the messier he gets, the happier he seems. - The 5-Second Rule Doesn’t Exist
Max has a carefree attitude toward food that lands on the ground. Unlike his sister, who is a germaphobe, he’ll pick up a piece of pizza, discard any hairs, and gobble it up without hesitation. - Hair Care? What’s That?
Getting Max to brush his hair has been an ongoing challenge. If it were up to him, he’d allow it to grow wild and untamed, as if he had been raised in the wilderness. - Clothes Are a Mess
His love for the outdoors comes with a price. Max favors stretchy pants, allowing him to run and climb freely. Unfortunately, these clothes often end up with stains and holes — napkins seem to be a foreign concept in his world. - His Bed Is a Nest
I’ve lost count of how many times Max has transformed his bed into a makeshift nest, pushing pillows and blankets into a circle. He even splurged on a large dog bed, despite us never owning a dog. - The Trees Are His Playground
When I call Max and he doesn’t respond, I instinctively check the yard first. More often than not, he’s perched in a tree, engrossed in a book or an imaginary game — a testament to his deep connection with nature. - Is He Part Animal?
From a young age, Max has shown a fascination with wildlife. He once named his doll “Horse” and has always gravitated towards animal toys. His passion for wildlife has evolved into a strong advocacy for the environment. - Free Spirit Defined
Max embodies the essence of a free spirit, unbound by societal conventions. While we strive to guide him toward socially acceptable behavior, we also appreciate the beauty of his natural inclinations.
It may not align with my own personality or parenting style, but I respect that it’s simply who Max is.
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Summary:
Parenting a wild child can present unique challenges and delightful moments. Signs of a feral child include a preference for crawling, a disdain for utensils, a love of dirt, and a free-spirited nature. Embracing these traits can lead to a richer understanding of childhood and the beauty of being in tune with nature.