As a 37-year-old mother of two, I must admit: I often feel like I’m just pretending to navigate adulthood. Despite my attempts at being organized—like crafting grocery lists, clipping tiny fingernails, and scheduling dentist appointments—I can’t shake the nagging thought that I’m utterly unqualified to manage my life, let alone the two little ones I claim on my taxes. Here are some signs that I might just be an adult imposter:
- Ironing? No Thanks. Ironing is a skill I have completely avoided. After dragging my unused ironing board through multiple moves, I finally passed it on to my organized sibling, who actually knows how to use it. My go-to methods? The trusty “throw clothes in the dryer with a damp washcloth” technique or the “hang it in the bathroom while I shower” strategy. Who needs wrinkle-free clothes when you shop at Target?
- Dry Cleaning? Not My Thing. Isn’t this a hallmark of adulthood? I can’t help but think of the characters from Sex and the City, always picking up their dry cleaning. When I accidentally buy something labeled “Dry Clean Only,” I spend days stewing over it, wearing it repeatedly without cleaning, and ultimately shoving it into my closet with good intentions that never materialize.
- Bees and Wasps Terrify Me. I had an embarrassing moment on my porch when a wasp landed on my drink, prompting me to scream and toss my bottle across the yard. Adults are supposed to react with composure, not run in fear while their children look on in confusion.
- Balloons are My Nemesis. I can’t even tie a knot in a balloon, and the thought of one popping sends me into a panic. I’ve unwittingly passed this fear to my oldest child. Balloon-related games at birthday parties? Not happening. I’m a total party pooper.
- Parental Decision-Making is Daunting. When my kids ask me questions, I often look around, expecting someone more qualified to answer. Can they watch another show? Have a popsicle? Explore their shadow self? Your guess is as good as mine! Sometimes I feel like I’m just their babysitter rather than their mother.
- Champagne Corks are a Mystery. I always hand the champagne bottle to someone else to uncork, avoiding the loud pop that makes me cringe. I also struggle with those fancy corkscrews that seem so simple to everyone else. I’d rather not embarrass myself in public.
- Directionally Challenged. Malls and parking lots are my personal hell. I find myself swearing and even tearing up while trying to navigate.
- Out of Touch with Current Events. When other adults discuss politics or the news, I nod along, pretending to understand. I’ve never grasped what fracking is, and I often feel lost in the conversation.
- Behind on TV Shows. We are perpetually late to the party when it comes to popular series. We just finished Breaking Bad and started House of Cards. I’ve never seen Mad Men or Downton Abbey, and after a brief attempt at The Walking Dead, I was out after the first episode.
- Chopsticks? No Way. I can’t use them, which is just plain embarrassing.
On my toughest days, I remind myself that I still contribute uniquely to my family and society. After all, not every adult can quote obscure films from the ’80s and ’90s or spot typos on public signs. I suspect I’m not the only one feeling the weight of “Adult Imposter Syndrome.” Surely, you can relate too, right?
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In summary, many of us may feel like we are merely pretending to be adults, grappling with common challenges that can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Recognizing these signs can help us connect with others who might feel the same way.