As a working mom, I often find myself on the receiving end of some unexpected remarks. While I believe most people mean well, there are certain comments that can feel a bit judgmental or condescending. Here are ten phrases to steer clear of when speaking with a mom who juggles work outside the home.
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“Isn’t it too expensive for you to work?”
Let’s consider the implications of this question. If I need to work to pay bills and support my family, this inquiry can lead to an uncomfortable conversation. It also overlooks the fact that many moms work for reasons beyond finances—such as personal fulfillment, career aspirations, and setting a strong example for their children about gender equality. -
“I’d love a break from my kids for a whole day!”
If you truly feel that way, I can assist you in updating your resume! However, working doesn’t equate to a vacation. It’s a balancing act of responsibilities that often leads to guilt about being away from the children. -
“I couldn’t be away from my child all day.”
I completely understand. But the truth is, necessity often drives us to adapt. You learn to cope as a working parent, even when you miss those precious moments. -
“The issue today is that too many moms are working instead of being home.”
That’s an interesting point of view! But advocating for better parental leave and flexible working arrangements might actually support both working parents and those who choose to stay home. It’s not just about one choice being better than another. -
“Why have kids if you’re just going to let someone else raise them?”
This type of comment is disheartening. My husband and I are actively involved in our children’s lives, and we rely on a network of caregivers to help us while we pursue our careers. It doesn’t diminish our role as parents. -
“It must be so difficult to manage everything.”
Yes, parenting is hard! But it isn’t solely because I work outside the home. Every parent faces challenges, regardless of their work situation. -
“You must be incredibly organized to handle it all.”
That’s flattering, but the truth is, my life is often chaotic. I’m just as likely to misplace my keys or forget important appointments like anyone else. There’s no perfect balance—just a lot of managed chaos. -
“You can always work later; these early years are the most important.”
Every stage of childhood has its significance. Also, why don’t we hear this sentiment directed at fathers? -
“You look a little tired.”
Thanks for the observation! Would you like to offer a spa day in exchange for babysitting? Just kidding! But let’s skip the comments on my appearance. -
“At least you cherish every moment you have with your child.”
I try to, but let’s be real—some moments are less than idyllic! Bedtime battles can be especially trying, even if I do appreciate the time I do get to spend with my kids.
Don’t you worry about missing out?
Every day, but moments like when my child runs to me after school remind me that we’re doing just fine.
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In summary, working moms face unique challenges and often endure comments that can feel judgmental. It’s essential to approach conversations with understanding and compassion, recognizing that every family’s journey is different.