I had a feeling this day would come. For months, I sensed it lurking on the horizon—the infamous Body Changes conversation. DUN-DUN-DUUUUN!
As I reflect on my own childhood, I can’t help but remember the nervousness of sitting with my classmates, desperately trying to appear nonchalant while plotting an escape route to anywhere but there. Just uttering the word “PENIS” sent half the class into frozen silence while the other half erupted into awkward giggles. And when diagrams were introduced? Time itself seemed to stop. I can still hear the ticking clock while we were all transfixed on that chalkboard, the word “scrotum” glaring at us. What a bizarre and unsightly term!
Fortunately, I’m an adult now and no longer subjected to those embarrassing educational moments. My children, however, have yet to navigate this uncomfortable yet necessary rite of passage. As a parent, I strive to make these discussions as painless as possible. While we don’t have regular dinner table talks about human anatomy, I believe in answering their questions in a straightforward, age-appropriate manner. I address body parts, including the penis, with the same normalcy as I would discuss an elbow, always maintaining eye contact to ease any awkwardness.
My primary goal is to foster an open line of communication. I prefer to be proactive rather than let them stumble upon information from unreliable sources or overhear it from someone in the schoolyard. To prepare for this eventuality, I even bought my child “the book” a few weeks ago, encouraging her to read it at her own pace. I promised to sit down with her to discuss it in detail later on.
An hour later, she tossed the book back into my lap. “Finished, Mom.” I braced myself for the questions, yet what came out of her mouth was nothing I anticipated:
- “You know those pictures of how breasts develop? What stage are you in, Mom?”
What I thought: “The final stage.”
What I said: “Those are cartoon illustrations. They don’t represent reality.” - “Do you even need to wear a bra?”
What I thought: “Seriously?”
What I said: “Not really, but it’s socially acceptable and makes me feel better.” - “What’s that stuff that sometimes gets in my underwear?”
What I thought: “Vaginal discharge.”
What I said: “Vagina juice.” I panicked and froze. - “What is Virginia juice, Mom?”
What I thought: “It’s pronounced Vagina, sweetie.”
What I said: “It’s called Vagina, honey.” - The middle child chimes in: “Do I have a Virginia, Mommy?”
What I thought: “It’s pronounced Vagina! Yes, all girls have one!”
What I said: “Go play.” - The middle child, who never listens: “What’s a Virginia, Mommy?”
What I thought: “Stop saying Virginia! It’s VAGINA!”
What I said: “It’s a state, sweetheart.” - “Why is it called the ‘Public Area,’ Mommy? Because (pointing and rolling her eyes), it shouldn’t be public!”
What I thought: “It’s actually the ‘Pubic Area,’ named after the bone in that region.”
What I said: “Exactly!” - “What does menstruate mean?”
What I thought: “Once a month, it’s like ninjas are unleashed in your gut, and you feel awful.”
What I said: “It’s a natural process for women, allowing us to have children.” - “Does Daddy do it?”
What I thought: “Nope, he’s lucky!”
What I said: “Nope, only girls go through that. It’s special for us.” - “What does Daddy get to do?”
What I thought: “Be happy and have a penis.”
What I said: “He takes the trash out.”
I thought I was ready to explain where babies come from and the use of sanitary products. Instead, I’m left debating the necessity of a bra and dealing with my own thoughts about the realities of aging and bodily changes. All the while, I try to convince my daughters that these changes are something to embrace, almost like a celebration filled with unicorns and rainbows.
I could really use a new topic and maybe even some cosmetic improvement. Not necessarily in that order.
For more information on related topics, check out this resource on pregnancy, or explore more about home insemination kits. Also, for insight into skin combinations during these changes, visit this authoritative source.
Summary
Navigating conversations about changing bodies with children can be challenging. This article humorously recounts a mother’s experience answering awkward questions from her kids about anatomy and bodily functions. It emphasizes the importance of open communication and educating children on these topics in a straightforward and age-appropriate manner.